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I felt nothing save the sensation of music lifting me, your body next to mine, urging me forward with every thrust. Each increment of self shredded and recreated in a single breath. In an instant, real life became a coarse reflection of what you released in my awareness; yet, I knew even at that moment, I would learn to savor the smaller pleasures with this degree of intensity. You taught me, in a way no master ever could convey. I didn’t analyze. I was not in control of the water, nor where it flowed. Why I floated on it, where it came from. I was meant to merely swim in it. Enjoy it. Exhilarate in it. I could not dictate this. I was truly there to exist as the landscape for you to manifest this gift you have. I felt you move the chess pieces in me. I wanted you to say you loved me. You needed me more than breath. You felt me from a mile away. You always know when I need to be held. You would give me strength to be strong, and I’d never be weak. I’d be the fiery passionate woman I. As I continued to hear my son’s bed squeaking and theheadboard bumping against the wall of his room in asteady rhythm I became more and more nervous. What ifthey were ignoring birth control? I knew how passioncould over power teenager’s common sense in the spur ofthe moment, and I really didn’t want to risk being agrandmother at 40.With no real plan of action I climbed the stairs to myson’s bedroom. As I crept down the hall the image of thetwo kids making love kept running through my mind. Theimage of a “young me” screwing my son in the heat ofpassion.By the time I reached my son’s bedroom door I wasbreathing harder than I normally would have from theclimb. I pressed an ear to his door and listened.I could hear muffled voices, first a female voice then adeeper male voice. I couldn’t understand what they weresaying but when I heard a muffled female moan of pleasureI knew that Jennifer was enjoying my son’s efforts.I knew that I.
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